Will my new arm void my manufacturer's warranty?
Absolutely not! Our parts are... *mostly* compatible. Warranty void where prohibited by ZOR regulations, common sense, spontaneous combustion, or Tuesdays.
Our Services
- Human to Protogen Conversion (Experimental, Waiver Required)
- Limb Swaps (Standard & Performance Models)
- Tail Reattachment & Augmentation
- Visor Buffing & Polishing (Now with Anti-Glare!)
- Nanite Fluid Flush & Recalibration
- Compatibility Diagnostics & Firmware 'Upgrades'
- Aesthetic Chassis Modifications
- Emergency Toast Dispenser Repair
Testimonials
"I swapped my standard limbs for the performance model. My processing speed feels faster, though maybe that's just the placebo effect. 10/10 would swap again!"
"They reattached my tail after a... minor disagreement with a low-flying drone. Seamless work! The new 'wag' module is surprisingly expressive."
"The Nanite Fluid Flush fixed my visor glitch... mostly. It sometimes displays my internal monologue now. Slightly awkward during negotiations."
"Got the aesthetic chassis mod. Looks great, but now I slightly resemble a high-end coffee machine. Mixed feelings."
FAQ
Do you accept payment in RAM sticks?
We primarily deal in standard galactic credits, but we might consider high-density, ethically sourced RAM for bulk orders. No DDR3, please. We have standards.
What's your success rate for Human to Protogen conversions?
We're proud to report a 78.34% success rate! The other 21.66% are... well, let's just say they're living their best lives as very advanced toasters, sentient coffee makers, and in one particularly interesting case, a self-aware disco ball. We call him Steve. He's quite popular at parties.
Is this service safe?
Define 'safe'. We have a surprisingly high success rate! Side effects may include temporary system crashes, existential dread, an inexplicable craving for toast, minor temporal displacement, or a sudden urge to defragment the universe.
How long does a swap take?
Standard procedure is typically 4-6 business hours, plus or minus unexpected system incompatibilities, sentient tool uprisings, paradox containment, or mandatory coffee breaks.
Can you make me taller?
Limb extensions are available, but may affect your center of gravity and ability to navigate standard doorways. We also offer hover modules, but those require a separate license and insurance policy.
Human Ready to Transform? Protogen Need Repairs?
Whether you're a human eager to experience life with a visor and customizable limbs, or an existing Protogen seeking maintenance, our technicians are ready to assist with all your synthetic-organic needs!
Ping Our Technicians